Los Angeles International Airport, USA - Breaking news- Sources have reported that a man was arrested earlier today at LAX for breaking wind in the face of a TSA worker while said worker was administering an "enhanced pat down" procedure on him.
(11/24/2010) Early Wednesday morning, 43 year old chef, Ricardo Cráneo, was arrested on simple assault charges at LAX airport. It is alleged that Mr. Cráneo passed gas during an enhanced pat down procedure, directly into the face of a TSA worker who has asked to remain anonymous. He was later released on his own recognizance and is due to appear in court after the first of the year, an exact date remains to be set.
Calls to LAX and TSA have not yet been returned, however, in a brief interview, Mr. Cráneo told the press the following:
"I am a chef in a restaurant that serves Mexican food. I have very bad digestive problems and I try to eat very healthy, so I normally pack my own lunch to take to work. I was so busy packing yesterday for my trip, that I forgot to take food to work with me and ended up eating some of my own cooking, which proved not to be a very good idea!" laughed Cráneo, who was in surprisingly good spirits after his ordeal.
"I was selected out of the line to received extra security checks. I guess they thought I was Arab!" he joked.
"I was not feeling very well this morning and was already running late for my flight, but I did not want to be x-rayed because of health concerns." Mr. Cráneo informed us that he is a prostate cancer survivor and has been cancer free for 7 years.
"I did what they asked and went over to the searching area. A man came over and explained the procedure and I told him it was fine. He began patting me down when I felt a rumble in my stomach and I though to myself 'I should not have eaten that burrito last night!!' He kind of squatted down and started patting up my legs and I could not hold it any longer, it just came out, I guess right in his face! I felt very bad and apologized to him, but he was not having it. His face turned beet red and he started cussing and yelling at me."
"His supervisor came over and I thought she was going to reprimand him for speaking to me that way, in front of children! There were children there! And she picked up her radio thing and I heard her say police. I still thought it was the guy who searched me who would be getting in trouble - never in a hundred years did I imagine that I would be the one being arrested for this!"
According to witnesses and Mr. Cráneo, six armed police officers in uniform showed up at the scene, where the unnamed TSA worker was still yelling and cussing at Mr. Cráneo. He allegedly explained to the police what had transpired and the police asked what he would like them to do.
Several eye witnesses claim that the TSA worker said something to the affect of, "arrest that f***ing Beaner for assault!".
The police tried to calm the TSA worker down, but he insisted on pressing charges.
Mr. Cráneo says, "I told the police, after the jerk said he wanted to press charges on me, I says "this man feels people up for a living! I have a hard time believing he feels assaulted my my involuntary action. Can I press charges on him for grabbing my junk?"
When asked if he was going to counter-sue, Cráneo stated, "that option is not off the table." This could be a breaking point for both the TSA and anti-radiation/anti-groping activists.
A hearing date will be set within the week.