I prefer my bald men to have facial hair. There is no particular reason for this, except that I like facial hair. I also believe facial hair accentuates the baldness nicely. It's a contrast. I'm all about contrast.
To demonstrate why bald guys are hot, let's take a look at Mr. Clean, shall we?
Kinda hot. The white eyebrows don't do it for me and a goatee is needed, in Mr. Clean's Case:
Add a goatee and nix the white brows, and you have hawtness:
Mr.Clean with hair... not hot (kinda creepy actually):
Badass Pirate Mr. Clean FTW (he's still bald under that skullcap)!
Now let's look at some actual, flesh and blood hot bald guys. I am listing them in order of how badly I want to engage in acrobatic monkey sex with them:
1. Bruce Willis
Can I just reiterate how badly I want to lick honey off this man's head??
Bruce and I make one HAWT couple:
Nothing more needs to be said, except that maybe Bruce should file a restraining order against me so I don't attack him with acrobatic monkey sex. But he hasn't. You know why? Because he's hot for what I got. Yeah, that's right, he wants me and he is secretly hoping to bump into me one day so he can have the best sex EVER.
2. David Draiman
For those of you who have never experienced the hot baldness of the lead singer of Disturbed, I give you, David Draiman:
Not many dudes could pull off those lip piercings. David makes it look fucking hot.
He's even got the come-hither-so-I-can-do-bad-things-to-you look down to a science. RAAAAWR!
Dave (can I call you Dave? Or shall I just call you over for some hot acrobatic monkey sex??), please stop being so hot (no, actually, don't), I just can't take it. I'd like to strategically place those lip piercing in... Ok I am going to shut up now before this turns pornographic.
Right back at you, Davey-baby.
3. Jordan Page
Not only is he hot and a musician and bald, he's also a Liberty-boy. He's all Constitutional-Free Market-Individual Liberty and there really is nothing hotter than that:
Jordan is married, and not a main-stream celebrity, so I will show some respect and not solicit him for acrobatic monkey sex. He still rocks though.
And now he is one to check off the list :-) No, I didn't have hot acrobatic monkey sex with him, but I did meet him and he drew a hot bald guy in my CD case.
4. Tom Morello
It's hard to find pics of Rage Against The Machine's guitarist without a hat. He's a secret bald hottie (I totally just said "hottie", ugh... not cool).
My GAWD, Tom, lose the friggin hat, please! Look at that delicious baldness! Stop hiding who you are, chicks dig bald. I would totally have acrobatic monkey sex with you.
5. Aaron Lewis
Ladies and gentlemen (ok, probably just ladies), I give you: Mr. Aaron Lewis.
Now, those of you who know me, know that the only thing sexier than a hot bald guy is a hot bald guy with tattoos and piercings. And the only thing sexier than a hot bald guy with ink and holes is one who also has a guitar and can sing.
Aaron, Mr. Lewis, hotness... Can I be frank with you? (frank, not Frank, but you can call me whatever you want, baby). Get in my bed, right now, we're having acrobatic monkey sex. I won't hurt you, I understand you're a sensitive guy. I've listened to your band, Staind, it's obvious that you probably prefer slow, sweet "love making", but let's be real. This is a hook up, and I promise you won't be disappointed when it gets a little rough and/or acrobatic. Besides, you obviously dig pain. RAWR!
And because I can't think of any more hot bald guys, I did a search on The Google Machine for "hot bald guys". Please enjoy the random hot baldness:
And guys, if you've made it this far, to thank you, I have included a Hot Bald Chick, enjoy! (Unless you're gay, then you've probably been enjoying this entire page and can skip the next one)
Me kissing the head of a lovely Irish gentleman in Las Vegas: