Let's move on to an oldie but goody: fugly. You guys remember fugly!! Like, "omg, those plaid shoes are so fugly!" Fugly stands for Fucking Ugly. Yes, capitalized. It's an extreme statement of how hideous something is. Now, normally, I am not a big fan of not saying fuck when it's incorporated into something. Like "It's so effing hot out here!!" No, it's fucking hot, say it. However, fugly is a great term for those times when the F-bomb is not appropriate. However, I would like to propose a new use for this term. I happen to like my plaid shoes
Asshat is another favorite. Why? Just say it. "You're an asshat." It's insulting because no one has any fucking clue what it means. I mean, what's wrong with hats? If I called you a hat, would you be insulted? Probably not. Adding the word ass in front makes it insulting. It's one thing to just be an ass (and, I mean, let's face it, that could be a compliment. What if I am a nice, well rounded ass that fits snugly into some low rise jeans? That would be like calling me sexy). But an asshat? Is that like a hat so ugly I'd only wear it on my ass? Is it a hat you wear on your ass like a diaper? Maybe a diaper that has pictures of hats on it? Excuse me while I go shop for panties with hats
On to one of my personal favorites: Dickfur. You are the fur on a dick. I have never personally seen a furry dick (the fur, as far as I know, shouldn't be on the dick), but I would imagine it's pretty fugly (and not in the Trbobitch meaning). I don't use this insult on just anyone. There is a very special person that this one is strictly reserved for. The Ex Husband. Maybe because I first heard it from him. So thank you, Dickfur, for giving me the perfect nickname for you!
So next time Bubba tries to make you eat pavement, just call him a fugly, fucktard asshat. You're still going to get a couple of teeth knocked and and spend the night in the ER, but you'll make someone laugh, and laughter is good for the soul. Besides, you might get a hot nurse
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