So you've heard of real sex, right? Tell me I am not the only on who remembers that!?! Anyway, I thought it might be funny to post real text messages I receive, because I am too lazy to write... Trust me people, I can't make this shit up!
So you all know my mom went to Georgia to see her boyfriend... This was the text conversation we had after she got there...
It was around 6:00 on the day she went, she was supposed to get there early afternoon and I gave her very specific instructions to call/text me when she got there. I hadn't heard from her and visions of psychotic axe murders were running through my head (some of you may wonder why I wasn't concerned sooner... I am too self-absorbed to care about such things until hours after I should care...) Anyway, I finally realized I hadn't heard from her and texted:
Me: U get there ok?? Everything good?
(she didn't answer)
Mom: I'm doing fine! having a good time. Is zach ok?
Me: All is well glad ur having fun and that Eugene* is not a psychotic axe murderer.
Mom: Oh my hes chasing me around the room with an axe and i give him 30 min to stop . Help!
Me: Dammit woman don't make me fly down there with my samurai dagger of doom!!!
Mom: Already been stuck twice. Thank u!
OMFG... Yeah. That's it. I don't need to write a closing paragraph, that speaks for itself... Help?
*Names once again changed to protect the elderly