Friday, December 8, 2017

I have the whole world at my fingertips and I am drowning in isolation

No seriously... what happened? Someone please explain.

I am sitting here and, suddenly, I lost like, I dunno, 7 years or so. When did I become old? I have a gray hair, big pores and, fuck a duck, I've gotten fat.

I was one of the cool kids, god dammit! Now I'm some stay-at-home-working-housewife-sex-is-a-chore-homeschooling-something-or-other.

I looked on the internet today. This girl I was friends with in middle school is dead. She's DEAD! WTF?!?! Not that I'm having a Golden Girls moment and making this about me, I'm not. In fact, I'm a lot sadder than I thought I would ever be over something like this. Granted, she'd had some brain tumor issue or something and was sick, plus, I mean, I hadn't even talked to her for years... But damn it hurt. It also makes me hate the internet age. I feel so disconnected from people. Fuck Facebook, let's go have a drink, see a movie, talk on the phone.

I don't talk to anyone any more. I try, I do... But I'm not on Facebook... Apparently people can't be friends anymore without their social validation loop software... Have any one of you ever thought about what this is doing to your relationships? Do you care? Was this just a way to turn your fake, codependent relationships into something lower maintenance? Doesn't matter, no one reads this any more because, oh shit! I'm not posting it on Facebook.

Go ahead, give them your info. Give them you, your thoughts, your "opinions" and I won't even bother with "your dreams". You have none. There is no such thing any more. Only social validation. You're a number, a ranking, a reflection of how many "followers" you have. You "like" people's crap because they like yours. It's all bullshit. It probably always was, but now we all have our big internet balls to hide behind.

Let's talk. Call me. For real, if you read this, and you know me, pick up your fucking phone and call me. Let's TALK!